Wednesday, September 12, 2012

California Rescued From Financial Bankruptcy

New LA Laker Dance Team Debut
Reeling from a string of Municipal Bankruptcies, California Governor Jerry Brown took steps to resolve the States troubled finances. 

Brown confirmed that the Chinese government has bailed out California ending the fiscal challenge he inherited as Governor. 
Under the terms, California is now a province of China and is no longer a part of the United States. 
Talks are underway for a massive wall that will separate California from the remaining states.  In addition to providing border security for California it is expected to create 1.2 million new jobs.

Flag manufacturers expect a significant jump in sales of the new 49 State Flag but are delaying production plans while waiting to see if other states approach the Chinese Government.
President Obama applauded the move as a major step in reconnecting the United with the global community.

The Chinese officials were excited about the move and said they have big plans for the state.  In addition to a new Los Angeles Laker Dance Team they announced plans for a 40 foot fence and missile sites on the Mexican border to discourage illegal immigration.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Continuing Impact of Sanctions at Penn State

The Penn State Nittany Lions took the field on Saturday and broke a long standing tradition by having the player names on the back of the jerseys.

Head coach recently announced that a long time Nittany Lion tradition ends when players’ names appear on uniforms this year.  Broadcasters have often been challenged during play by play when relying only on numbers in the past welcomed the change.

 While many fans opposed the change they agreed it would now be easier to follow their favorite players. 

Unfortunately, with the transfer of most top players fans and sportscasters still don’t know who anyone is even with the names on the uniforms.

Penn State officials are considering other steps to resolve the problem including player photos on the sides of helmets and links to player Facebook Pages embedded  in the Game Programs.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Penn State Sells Joe Paterno Statue

Proposed Frazier Statue
When Penn State officials heard about the initiative to erect a statue honoring Joe Frazier in Philadelphia, they saw an opportunity to further distance themselves from the Sandusky sex scandal.

Penn State will sell the statue to and apply the proceeds to the NCAA Penalties. 

In a press release they announced  “We feel this is an ideal way to salvage the statue and repurpose it in an honorable way.” 

Under the plan, Paterno’s head will be removed and replaced with a likeness of Frazier. 

Representatives of the Frazier Statue Committee said they were excited about the offer and felt it will enable them to move up the unveiling and complete the project at a significantly reduced cost. 
The statue could be unveiled as soon as three months after they decide whether to use a hatless head or a head with a wide brimmed hat.
There was no mention of what would happen with Joe Paterno's head.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Obama Quietly Ends Gulf Trip

President Obama trip ends in disapointment
President Obama cancelled two fundraisers and delayed his arrival at the Democratic National Convention when his advisors suggested he make a Gulf trip on the Louisiana coast.

Jay Carney told the press that the president said a trip like this must always take precedence over fundraising and convention activities. 
Carney emphasized that concerns for the plight of the impacted Americans trumped politics and fund raising and hope this would end the focus on the presidents fundraising activities.

Upon arrival, the President's entourage quickly disembarked Air Force One and headed toward New Orleans.

When the caravan arrived at the site of the recent Hurricane destruction the President asked whether the Golf Course has sustained damage that would alter his approach to the game.

He grew visibly angry when aides told him there would be no golfing during the trip.

When informed the trip was intended to show his concern for Americans hit hard by the Hurricane he said, "Oh, I thought you said GOLF Trip, Not Gulf Trip.

The President quickly left New Orleans as aides tried furiously to reschedule the fundraisers.