Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
|Gobler Groups Grapple in DC|
Thursday, November 25, 2010
|Scandal Threatens Performers|
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
He is still considering the use in water balloon contests but has some concerns this may give an unfair advantage if other contestants use regular balloons.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Customers will have a unique opportunity to see their friends and neighbors unclothed in the scanner photos. Fliers can also scan the publication themselves to find out if they made the final cut. Playboy plans to pay a stipend to anyone who finds themselves in the publication which adds another incentive and a scavenger hunt quality to the magazine.
The spokesman admits there is not much variety in the current crop of photos. Everyone is merely standing upright and holding their arms upwards but they hope to form a partnership with TSA officials that will result in a variety of poses at the direction of airport screeners
Monday, November 15, 2010
In a shocking development Republican nominee Joe Miller withdrew from the race when the number of write-in votes was announced. He said that the people have spoken and the write-in candidate should take the seat. He also said he recently realized the Capital is in Washington DC, not Washington State and that there are no moose there.
Alaska is the first state in over 50 years to elect a write in candidate to the Senate. Analysts expected Lisa Murkowski to be that person but she lost out to a surprise winner.
There were 81,692 write in votes that included 673 variations of "Lisa Murkowski". A judge ruled that there were far too many variations of spelling making it impossible to assign the votes to the former Republican Senator. She received credit for 246 votes with the correct spelling.
Officials have confirmed that there were also 247 votes correctly spelled for John Smith making him the winner.
46 John Smiths have claimed victory so far. Additional John Smiths have until Friday to join the group.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Airline officials report significant savings as a result of the low level glow emitted by passengers on red-eye flights.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
High placed Democrat planners smugly confessed that recent election results fell out exactly as they had planned. Republicans will no longer be able to complain that their voices are not heard and can no longer accuse Democrats of running roughshod over them in passing legislation.
While Republican pundits reveled in the apparent redirection of American politics they were stunned to learn they were actually pawns in a well-constructed and implemented Democratic plan.
DNC Chairman Tim Kaine said he was concerned that their strategy might leak prior to the election and spoil their efforts to return to minority status in the house. Asked if he had any regrets he admitted he needed to do more to make sure Harry Reid and Barbara Boxer were included in planning for the next election cycle.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
At least 25 demonstrators are unaccounted for. The T-Rex’s were later seen sleeping and surrounded by unknown bones. Dinosaur rights groups hailed the missing demonstrators as patriots willing to help the Carnivores until more reliable food sources are found. They pledge to raise a mealitia of new supporters willing to aid the oppressed meat eaters.
Group leaders did not comment on reports that the membership drive is going slowly.