Thursday, November 18, 2010

Airlines Report TSA Pat Downs Causing Increase in Empty Seats

Airlines are faced with another fiscal challenge due to sharply falling ridership.  Virtually all flights are flying at less than 72% capacity.  Officials were puzzled since at the same time ticket sales have risen sharply.

A study group discovered that physically unattractive men and women are purchasing refundable tickets so that they can be patted down at the security gate.  They decline the scanner and request pat downs by the opposite sex.  They return to the counter requesting cash refunds for their tickets and then leave the terminal.

An unidentified homely man seen leaving the terminal said, "This was the best date I've ever had.  Next week I'm not flying to Las Vegas."

Airlines and TSA officials are working with the White House to implement pat down security check points at retail malls to address the no fly problem.  "We feel that if we provide an easy access alternative for these unfortunate men and women we can have a win-win result and stimulate the economy with increased sales for retailers."

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