Thursday, May 19, 2011

Pittsburgh Pirates Sold; New Owner Moves Team

New Team Logo Unveiled
A spokesman for Major League Baseball confirmed reports that the Pittsburgh Pirates have been sold and the new owner plans to move the team to Somalia.  While  team on-field performance has improved, attendance remains at all time lows.  

Reeling from dropping attendance and minimal sales of team memorabilia the new owner sees the move as a win-win for fans and the club.
He went on to say, “The team is a non-entity in the area and can’t get any press coverage to stimulate their fan base.  Now, every time the news cycle reports on the pirates in Somalia we will be on people’s minds. 
Ticket Sales Team Escorts
New Fans to a Game

We are also excited by the prospect that every day can now be fireworks day and we feel that will attract families to the park.”
The 37 current Pirates season ticket holders will have first shot at seats in the new park.  The new Somalia Ballpark super boxes will include upgraded security and bullet proof glass. 

Team officials are excited about the special promotion days and plan to fire the opening day baseball to home plate from a SAM missile launcher.

The team expects a sharp increase in attendance and has already contracted with local leaders to divert passing ships to the games.

No comments: