Imaginary news updates from an alternate universe.
Become a follower to be first to hear the news
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Startling New Evidence of Human Evolution
Scientists are excited about the discovery of a man whose skin bonded with the fabric of a lounge chair after sitting in it for over 2 years.
A spokesman for the Genetic Evolutionary Center said, “In the short span of 2 years we see clear proof that mankind is still genetically adapting to its surrounding environment as it struggles to survive.
The research team contends that the skin bonding with the recliner is a natural evolutionary progression as males evolve from hunter gatherers to a more sedentary lifestyle.
Closer study revealed that the man’s legs were growing shorter and he has sprouted four additional fingers on each hand making it easier to handle the television remote control.
Scientists expect a sharp increase in evolutionary evidence and are following up on reports of a West Palm Beach woman who has multiple Credit Card Magnetic strips appearing on her wrist and forearm.