Crayola Crayons Color Racial Controversy



Offensive items renamed



 The ACLU is demanding that Crayola Crayons no longer refer to "Black" and "Red" crayons.  They want them labeled "African American" and "Native American" respectively.  Asian and Hispanic rights  groups are also considering alternative names for the yellow and brown crayons.

An ACLU spokesman said the use of colors only reinforces the negative stereotypes of minority groups and this needs to stop now.

In order to avoid offending anyone now or in the future, Crayola is considering identifying all crayons by number instead of using the potentially offensive descriptions.

The proposed new names are:

1 - White

2 - Orange

3 - Brown

4 - Yellow

5 - Black

6 - Violet

7 - Green

8 - Red

9 - Blue

The NCAA has already filed a complaint demanding that the black crayons have a higher number than the brown and yellow ones.   The Native American Rights Fund is demanding that the Red  crayon be sold in a separate box to preserve it's tribal identity.  All of the groups are objecting to the number 1 being used to replace the white crayon.

Crayola stock prices plunged on the news and there are fears of massive layoffs.  Analysts expect profits to drop sharply and they predict the company will soon be in the Native American.  It could be at least 3 quarters before the company returns to the African American. 

Company officials did not comment on a rumor that Crayola may just blend all the colors into one crayon in the future to avoid offending anyone.   

The new crayon would be represented by the symbol ¥ pronounced, "The colors formerly know as whiteorangebrownyellowblackvioletgreenredblue".  

Officials also refused to comment on  reports that mixed race groups are now objecting to the rumored plan because it perpetuates the mixed race stereotype.   Representatives of the artist formerly known as Prince are reporting that he may file a restraining order preventing the change because it could be confused with his symbol.

Coloring book publishers are studying the controversy and considering the release of new coloring books that contain assorted colored pages with no pictures.  Educators and child psychologists support the plan and say that it will eliminate the embarrassment of coloring outside the lines.  Talks are underway with the minority rights groups to determine in what order the colored pages should be.

*Editors correction:  The portion of this story that says, Analysts expect profits to drop sharply and they predict the company will soon be in the Native American.  It could be at least 3 quarters before the company returns to the African American is incorrect.

It should have said, Analysts expect profits to drop sharply and they predict the company will soon be in the red.  It could be at least 3 quarters before the company returns to the black.    Mark Time apologizes for the error.