Friday, January 14, 2011

Sarah Palin Weighs in on Penguins Crisis

Penguins band together at rally

Animal rights groups are enraged over reports that penguins tagged with tracker bands are at increased risk of dying.    Recent reports indicate that the survival rate of banded penguins is 44% lower and banded females produce fewer chicks than their un-banded counterparts.

According to a new study, some scientists studying the tuxedo-clad penguins may be inadvertently harming them with the metal bands they use to keep track of their travels.  Theories as to why vary, but it is believed the bands increase the drag when the penguins swim. 

Former Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin weighed in on the matter and suggested the bands be replaced by electronic cards that the penguins can just keep in their Tuxedo pockets.  When reporters pointed out that penguins don't actually wear tuxedos she said, "I knew that, then let them just put it in their pants pocket by golly".

News of the study spread quickly and resulted in several legislative proposals from the right that would require the banding of any undocumented immigrants in an attempt to limit their number and reduce the anchor baby problem.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If the bands are causing them harm they should remove the bands && put a little electric micro chip in their wing/flipper. It will be less complicated this way && wont drag them down.
&& Sarah Palin is right as long as they put it somewhere && remove the band its fine by me