Congress Passes new Bipartisan Abortion Bill

Teens fear the worst

 Pro-choice and Pro-life Activists found common ground and joined forces in calling for a significant change to abortion laws.

The bipartisan bill gained widespread support from the left and right.  The Bill calls for approval of post-term abortions that are expected to reduce teenage crime, drug use and unwed births.  School officials expect standard testing scores to sharply rise as well.

The new law gives parents a meaningful option with real leverage in dealing with unruly teenagers.  Under the proposal, if both parents or a majority of neighbors agree, children between ages 13 and 19 can be euthanized in a new Post-Term Abortion procedure.

In a recent Quinnipiac Poll, 84% of parents support the measure.  13% would like the age range expanded to include ages two through 29 and 3% are teenagers themselves.

Most teenagers were reluctant to comment and fear their statements could be used against them at a Post-term Abortion Hearing.   Last week, 14 year old Adam Lucifer said he could care less and that he loves driving his parents crazy by ignoring them and constantly getting into trouble.

When reporters contacted his parents yesterday they said Adam was no longer living with them and that it was not likely he would ever be available for a follow-up statement.

State and local governments are already anticipating savings from smaller class sizes and less disruption at school.  Retailers expect sharp increases in profits as a result of a drop in shoplifting and vandalism. 

Frustrated parents shared heartbreaking stories about their children.  One pro-life member said, " I never imagined how my sweet little baby could become such a royal pain in the ass.  Now I can let him know what will happen if he doesn't change….real soon."