Archeologist Discovers Earliest Prehistoric News Report

A University of Pennsylvania archeologist discovered new evidence of man’s concerns for species eradication.  Animal rights groups applaud the find as evidence that man has been the prime cause of species extinctions as far back as 100 Million BC. 

The stone carvings of a National Prehistoric Radio (NPR) transcript express concerns that Carnivore Dinosaurs are in serious danger as a result of new log home construction depriving the herbivores of their major food source.  As human bi pods move from cave dwellings to log based housing projects,  herbivores are dying and carnivores are now faced with dwindling sources of nutrition that threaten their long term existence.  

Humans for Herbivores, a group allegedly funded by Gorg Saurus staged rallies in support of the carnivores.  Demonstrators carried signs condemning the “Tree Butchers” for damaging the fragile eco system.  The rally was broken up when a group of tyrannosaurus rexes, allegedly funded by the log dwellers, caused a riot and dispersed the group. 

At least 25 demonstrators are unaccounted for.  The T-Rex’s were later seen sleeping and surrounded by unknown bones.  Dinosaur rights groups hailed the missing demonstrators as patriots willing to help the Carnivores until more reliable food sources are found.  They pledge to raise a mealitia of new supporters willing to aid the oppressed meat eaters. 

Group leaders did not comment on reports that the membership drive is going slowly.

The only other dust covered stone records referred to a large flaming object in the sky that seemed to be growing larger each day ….